Lonely performance
Lonely performance
One day I will choose initial ideal, went out to rove.
Since I met him, I start to understand what is called inextricable heaviness. We are just friends; I can feel so much from him. I am surprise to see that a man can live so smoothly like a woman. Perhaps this word is not proper. We met in an online game which is called 9Dragons. If I told my friend that I was addicted to online games, she would be very surprise. I looked so proud and indifferent. But just because of this reason, I was lonely. I have to look for some place to entertain. Net work is such a place. I bought a lot of 9Dragons gold. I was willing to dress myself well in this unreal world. I told myself that the person in the game is not reliable. But love came, it was hard to control. I loved a person. He treated me very well and he always bought 9 Dragons gold for me. I left my mobile phone number to him, and sometimes he sent messages to chat with me. Those words and concerns gradually warm my heart. Unconsciously I found that smiles return to my life. I was still willing to buy 9 Dragons gold, but it was obvious that they were not important for me. I always dreamt that we had future, because I could feel that he also loved me. But he cheated me. He treated everyone in our union well. I told myself that I would not believe anyone.
But in this night, I know, in my grey words, my miss will not be a little reduced. Just as I like the cheap 9Dragons gold, but I still have to give them up. There are so many disappointments and so many things that you do not want to do, but you must do. Do not need to buy 9Dragons money, perhaps it is good. I have to say sorry to him. Not because I have no love, but because I do not know what can be called love now. A woman does not know what she wants to have; it is really a pathetic evasion. Perhaps she once has too beautiful longing to her life, but she failed. She failed that she was unable to face her life. So she does not want to be like this at this lonely moment. But she knows tomorrow she still will be sprayed with a small bottle of fruity perfume, walking through in this busy city.
Again I became passive. This is a person who does not know what she want to have and why she live, it is the most practical mode of life. If this life has director, has actors and also scenes, then the only real performer is herself.
